Is This My Wonderland?
by flo-bizet
Summary: After seeing the horrible future that awaits them, Sakura finds herself in a Wonderland like world where her friends seem to have no memory of her. As she tries to understand what's going on, will she instead understand her friends? Some SS and KF.


**Date Written:** April 28, 2007

**Kurogane:** What are you doing?

**Flo:** Typing a story.

**Fai: **-_looks over shoulder_-Where's the sarcasm, sex jokes, and awkward writing style?

**Flo:** I'm not using that for this fic. This is a, I guess, serious story, you would say. 

**Kurogane&Fai:** … Huh?

**NOTES!** This is based off of Alice in Wonderland, and takes bits from both Alice's Adventure in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass, so I'm going to be mixing the two together since I'll be relating characters from both. Okay? Good.

**ALSO!** I will be calling Mokona a "he," since continual use of "it" was getting on my nerves.

**LASTLY!** I won't be going bit by bit by the book. Like, I'm not going to go into the whole shrinking to get through the door and then the sea and all that. It's too much and I can't find that many important characters. I guess you could say I'm using the Wonderland concept as a way for Sakura to get through her decision.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Alice in Wonderland or Tsubasa Chronicles. They belong to CLAMP and Lewis Carroll. If I did, I wouldn't be writing fan fiction, now would I?

**WARNINGS!** Kind of dark, maybe. I don't know, like how perverted is too perverted, it's up for debate. **AND ACID TOKYO SPOILERS!** You have been warned, and if you want I can give you a site where you can read the lastest chapters, okay?

**Final A/N:** It seems I'm going to have to change my profile title from "I'm a Laugher, Not an Angster" to "I'm a Laugher, Not an Angster... Sometimes" I honestly can't believe I'm writing this, but I just LOVE Alice in Wonderland! I even have a Cheshire Cat shirt which I'm wearing right now! tee hee. Basically, this is my take on Sakura's most likely inner angast after all the Tokyo crap went down.

Enjoy!

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How could I? How could I? How could I?  
That was the only thought going through Sakura's mind as she rested in Fai's arms. After retrieving the price for Fai's life. After having her heart ripped out by the person she loved. After seeing the horrible future that awaited them all too soon to come. All of it was and would be caused by her. All of their pain, it was because she was so much of a burden. The thought itself was depressing, but the reality of its truth was unbearable.

If I wasn't here, would they be better off? she thought.

But she quickly pushed that idea away. To leave them would be selfish. They had gone through so much, just for her. Kurogane and Fai. They weren't even from her world, and yet here they were, risking their lives all for her own sake. Fai had already come so close to death, it was frightening. Although, whether his close encounter was what scared her or that it was caused by her Syaoran was something to question. Later. She couldn't stand that thought any more than the others, and refused to think about it. It was heart breaking.

If I stay, she began, then everyone will die and Fai-san… but if I go, then surely that would make them angry since all that has happened was by my doing. Which is more selfish? Letting them die is completely unforgivable, but I still can't stand leaving them after all they've done. This is all too much. I think I'm going mad!

The world around her seemed to change. She couldn't tell how, it was just a feeling. As if there had been some kind of wave.

Sakura opened her eyes, and found she was no longer in the comfort of Fai's arms, nor in the dark and gloomy place of Tokyo. No, she was in a field of daisies that spread as far as she was able to see. In the distance she could even hear a babbling brook and blue birds flew through the air singing as if there was not a care in the world. Even her clothes had changed. Instead of dreary and torn garments, she was now in a light summer dress. It was so peaceful that for just a few seconds she was able to forget about everything.

If only I could be this relaxed forever, she thought. Along with everyone else. Kurogane-san, Fai-san, Syaoran-kun, Mokona.

Sakura was so deep in thought, that she almost didn't notice a small white blur bounce above the flowers. She stared at that spot for time, waiting to see if whatever she saw would come back. It wasn't much longer when the blur appeared again out of the corner of her eye. Turning to that direction, she was able to get a much better picture of the bouncing creature. It was a very peculiar thing, wearing a little vest with a pocket watch and red jewel on his forehead.

"Mokona?!" Sakura exclaimed. She quickly jumped up and ran after it. "Mokona! Mokona, wait!" But he didn't stop, or even slow down for her. Sakura began to worry that Mokona couldn't hear her. No matter how loud she yelled for him to stop, he just kept bouncing away.

She was able to catch up to him, though, just close enough to hear that he was saying something. "I'm late! I'm late!" he kept singing, over and over again.

Late? Sakura thought. She was just about to try and ask what he was late for when he jumped into a rabbit hole, causing her to skid to a halt.

"Oh dear," she sighed. "What do I do now?"

She supposed it made the most sense to follow Mokona. He might have be leading her to the others and it would be taking a gamble to stay to see if any of them found her.

But do you want to be found? a voice in the back of her mind asked.

Willing the voice away, Sakura began to crawl into the rabbit hole, hoping she'd find her friends soon.

Getting on her hands and knees, she squeezed into the hole and headed forward. It was a surprisingly long way, but luckily the tunnel soon grew a bit larger. It grew to be so large, in fact, that she was no longer able to feel the walls beside her. Everything seemed to be disappearing, except for the ground. Not too soon after this idea struck her, her hand went down to nothing and her body followed with it.

Her heart jumped up to her throat at the initial fall, but soon she found she was slowly floating down, her dress puffed out like a parachute. This gave her plenty of time to look about her and wonder what was going to happen next. After seeing a lit candle, she grabbed it in order to try and find if there was any stopping below her. Sadly, all she could see was more darkness as the candle provided little light at a distance. She was able to see many pictures and cupboards on the surrounding walls. She gasped when she actually recognized quite a few of them.

Many were of people she had met before in different worlds, such as Tomoyo and Yuzuriha. Others were from her own world, Clow, and she couldn't help but smile when she saw her brother's smiling face with the priest close by his side. There were still faces she didn't recognized at all, though, such as a kind looking boy with one blue eye, one golden eye and glasses and a smug looking man with a monocle. She could only take this to mean she would meet them in the future.

Despite it fascinating to look at these pictures and remember so many good times, Sakura still was curious as to how long one can fall.

Did all the others enter down here this same way? she thought. She then giggled at bit at the idea, because the only reason she could see how she was floating was by her dress and she was the only one who wore one. Although, she started again, Fai-san did volunteer that one time in Lecourt country that he would wear a dress if necessary to draw less attention to us. I knew he was joking, but the look on Kurogane-san and Syaoran-kun's face after he said that was so funny! Kurogane-san's face never looked so red!

Sakura then felt like slapping herself after such silly thoughts. After all that had happened, she needed to be more serious! She was already a burden to them all, and when she needed to act and think on her own, she couldn't keep anything straight. Had her previous journey for the payment of Fai's life been for nothing?

"But," she quietly began, "I don't have any of my injuries. My leg is perfectly fine, as well, since I ran so fast after Mokona. Maybe… Maybe that was all a dream? Yes, it has to be! I felt as if I was asleep after all, and you never think about dreams when you're inside a dream. So it all never happened! Syaoran-kun never hurt Fai-san, Fai-san never changed, and Kurogane-san and Mokona and everyone are all waiting for me once I get done fa-"

Abruptly, Sakura plopped down onto a ground of sticks and dried leaves. There was a long hallway, but the only person she saw was Mokona. Thankful for at least that, she got up and began to run again.

She continued to call out to him, but there was still no response except for the continual, "I'm late!" Sakura was growing increasingly frustrated at this. Surely Mokona could stop for at least five seconds to let her catch up?

The two soon came to a corner, but when Sakura turned it, she halted in shock. It seemed the hallway had led her out into a large forest, despite having just been in what she had supposed was a house. She had little time to think of that, though, because she spotted Mokona sitting on a tree stump, tapping his foot and looking at his watch.

Afraid that he would run off again, Sakura tip toed up behind him, trying hard to not make any noise and feeling very silly. When she was just close enough, she quickly shot her hands out and grabbed Mokona by the mid section, pulling him to her chest for a better grip. She was surprised when he didn't make any movement to try to escape or seem at all shocked at what had happened.

"Mokona!" Sakura said. "Why were you running away from me? Didn't you hear me calling you?"

Turning his head to look up at her, Mokona said, "Mokona was late! I had to hurry in order to not be!"

That wasn't a very clear answer, but it wasn't terribly unusual to not get a straight one from the fluff ball. "Well, okay, but could you tell me next time you are so I won't be so worried that there's something wrong?"

"Being late is wrong!"

"Yes, but I'm sure it wouldn't be so bad to be a few seconds late if you were explaining yourself to a friend, right?"

"Okay."

"Good." Sakura tightened her hold on Mokona a bit more before continuing, "I had the worst dream, Mokona. It scared me so much. I guess that that was why I panicked so much when you ran."

"I'm very sorry for you and hope you feel better, but Mokona doesn't know who you are."

Sakura felt her heart sink. "What… What do you mean, Mokona? It's me, Sakura! You and I travel with Syaoran-kun, Fai-san, and Kurogane-san, right? You remember Witch-san? You know, Yuuko?"

Mokona paused and put a stubby paw to it's head as if to think harder. "Hmmm. Nope! Mokona doesn't know what or who you're talking about. And if we keep hugging like this, we'll be even more late which would be even more bad!"

Sakura loosened her hold just enough for him to hop out of her arms. She was regretful about doing it, but there wasn't much of a point in holding onto him forever. She decided that perhaps this wasn't her Mokona and just a different world's Mokona. It was possible there was one in every dimension, just like people.

After dusting himself off, he turned back around and looked up at her again. "You look frightened. Are you new to this world?"

"I suppose you could say that. You see, I'm traveling with some people to different worlds to retrieve my memories and I just woke up at the top of that rabbit hole not too long ago. I don't know when we got here or where my friends are."

"How sad. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll find them eventually! Though, they might be mad."

"Mad?"

"Yes, as in touched in the head."

"But I don't want them to be mad!"

"You can't really help that here. Everyone's mad. I'm mad, you're mad."

"What makes you say that?"

"The same reason there's a possibility that you came here by yourself. You must be mad or else you wouldn't be here."

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**A/N: **-_cracks neck_- Took three days, and I don't know how it went. Could be good, could be bad. Tell me how it went and how to improve, please, because I think that this is pretty good for not being well experienced in serious writing. Though, if this is just an illusion TELL ME!

You know what to do!

Please leave a review!

As always, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcomed with a Cheshire Cat!


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